


I Don't Wanna Lose Your Love Tonight

by SailorHeichou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Convenience Store, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Erwin, Awkward Romance, Blackmail, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Dorky Erwin, Embarrassment, Eren has a Potty Mouth, Eren's too pretty, Erwin can't catch a break, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Hanji has it out for Erwin, M/M, Poor Erwin, This is really dumb, cashier!Eren, dumb, night shifts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6663418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorHeichou/pseuds/SailorHeichou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a tumblr prompt: <em>I'm the night shift cashier and just when I thought non one was going to show up tonight, you enter and buy the weirdest item in the shop, looking like you just ran a thousand miles.</em></p><p>Erwin is the weird and kind of hot guy that keeps coming into CVS at 2AM to buy odd things and Eren is the bored and exasperated night cashier who can't help but wonder what Erwin would possibly need all these items for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The first meeting

**Author's Note:**

> This AU was chosen for two reasons: 1) the prompt was too good to pass up on making fun of our dear Daddy Danchou and 2) my waifu and I practically live at our nearest CVS pharmacy (meaning we shop there for any little thing at any time of the day or night) and thought it would be hilarious if Eren worked as a cashier at CVS.
> 
> I will say this now and hopefully people will read this before leaving comments about it later on: **Levi does not exist in this universe** or at least, Erwin, Eren and the others don't know him. Why? Because as much as I adore that short grump, I can't write an Eruren fic with endgame Eruren if Levi is in the picture.  
>  I'm a diehard Ereri shipper, therefore, if Levi were in this fic I'd end up caving and having Eren end up with him instead of Erwin and I NEED A SEMI-LONG MULTICHAPTERED ERUREN FIC RIGHT NOW, SO, THERE. I'M SORRY.

Eren hated working the night shift. 

It never seemed to fail, whenever he had the night shift he always got all the weirdos and all the caffeine-addicted night owls; also the occasional stoner with a serious case of the munchies. The stoners always seemed to want to start conversations with him, and those conversations never went anywhere but in circles.

And... maybe he needed to get a haircut soon. His long almost shoulder-length hair probably wasn't helping him look any less like the twenty-six year old he actually was but it wasn't his fault he had the face of a goddamn seventeen-year-old. That always got him carded at all the bars and nightclubs his friends dragged him to. He'd tried to grow facial hair out when he was twenty but had learned very early on that facial hair just wasn't something he would ever be blessed with. Hell, his own father was forty-five and barely had enough facial hair on his upper lip and chin to be considered a decent beard or mustache. Damn his own genetics.

Sighing, Eren was only about three hours into his shift and it was quickly becoming clear that there wouldn't be very many people tonight. He was silently grateful for that, of course, because it meant less work and it also meant Eren could pass the hours scrolling through tumblr or fucking around on snapchat while spamming all his asshole friends who were all probably fast asleep in their own beds right about now. Eren envied them. But, fuck, he needed the hours and the money. 

He went about his business, occasionally doing inventory while keeping an eye on the front automatic doors. It wasn't like he was actually expecting anyone to come by-- it was almost 3am by now and Eren was ready to call it a night and go home if he had that luxury, but obviously, he didn't. The fact that he had to close tonight was enough to make Eren want to cancel those plans he had with Armin for lunch tomorrow -- well, technically _today_ but who was keeping track, really?

2:45 am rolled around and Eren grumbled as he made his way back to the front counter. He wasn't expecting anyone to come in, but he had to stay up front just in case some idiot decided it would be a good idea to try and rob them. One of the only cons to working the night shift, he supposed. Although, it wasn't like he was at any less risk of being caught up in a store robbery if he had the day shift. If fact, if you asked him, Eren had only ever heard of horrible robbery stories from co-workers of his who were working daytime hours. 

Just then, the automatic doors opened with a quiet hiss and alerted Eren to the presence of a customer. Bored teal eyes glanced up toward the entrance and he recited the greeting they'd been taught to say in training.

"Hi, Welcome to CVS." 

A rather tall blond man practically power walked into the store and flashed Eren a sort of pained smile. The brunet eyed him oddly when he noticed the man's attire which was a pair of dark blue sweats, blue and black running shoes and a simple grey crew neck t-shirt that had light sweat stains around the collar and under the man's toned arms. As he walked directly toward the entertainment and media section of the store, Eren noticed the sweat stain on the small of the man's back and sort of grimaced. Had this guy just come from running a marathon or something? Why the hell was he so sweaty at 2 am?

Ignoring the odd man, Eren went about his business of making sure the register till was full of enough bills and change while also keeping a semi-wary eye out for the unusual customer who seemed to be having trouble looking for something in one of their media racks. Eren even thought he heard the man muttering to himself quietly. Should he... help him? 

Just as he thought this, the blond came sprinting up to the counter and all but slammed a CD down on the counter top startling Eren and making him scowl up at the man who stared at Eren with wide surprised eyes before he flashed him a sheepish smile. 

"Sorry," the man sort of whispered and Eren rolled his eyes. What was all the fuss over a damn CD? 

Glancing at the cover of the CD case, Eren had to double take as he read the title to himself. It was a single of Your Love by The Outfield. For a brief moment, Eren didn't recognize the name of the song or the band. It looked old school as fuck though. Then, to make this already awkward situation all the more weird, the guy actually starting half-humming half-singing the lyrics and Eren had to restrain a snort of laughter. Was this guy for real right now?

" _... Josie's on a vacation far away, come around and talk it over..._ " then he'd stop singing to hum the lyrics he didn't remember before singing quietly under his breath again while waiting a little impatiently for Eren to hurry and ring him up. " _... I just wanna use your love tonight, I don't wanna lose your love tonight..._ " 

"Do you have your CVS card with you, sir?" Eren chose to ask instead, resisting the urge to smirk at the flustered look on the blond's unshaven face. 

"Oh, uh, hold on, give me a minute." the man started to fish around in his pockets while quietly cursing when he didn't find what he was looking for. Then he looked back up at Eren with pale blue eyes that were surprisingly bright and alert for such a late hour. "Um, sorry, I guess I must have left it at home with my car keys." 

"It's fine," Eren said, reaching out for the CD case and picking it up briefly so he could scan the bar code on the back with his scanner. "That'll be $5.65." 

The man dug around in his pockets once again, quietly resuming his previous humming and Eren couldn't help but cock a curious brow while he smirked. Just what was this guys deal? He left his car keys at home, ran all the way to CVS and bought a fucking CD with some old ass song Eren probably wouldn't have remembered even existed if it weren't for this very encounter? He'd seen some odd shit while working the night shift but this was by far the weirdest. 

"All I have is a twenty," the blond admitted with another an apologetic smile, and holy hell, Eren wasn't sure if he was more pissed off about the fact that this guy was so oblivious to how handsome he was despite his sweaty, disheveled appearance or about how perfectly weird this whole situation was. 

"That's fine, sir." 

He slid the crisp twenty dollar bill across the counter to Eren who snatched it up a little impatiently and pressed a few buttons on the register to open the till. The blond reached up and pushed back some of the hair that had fallen in his face and that only served to give Eren a better view of the man's profile and his sharp cheekbones. The brunet ended up slamming the till a little more forcefully than he had intended to and had seemed to startle the blond. 

"Your change is $14.35. Have a good night, sir." 

"Thank you. You too."

Flashing a full on grin at his cashier, the blond grabbed his purchase and started jogging out the door while pocketing his change. Eren stared after him feeling just a little befuddled about the whole exchange. That had been beyond weird and Eren probably would have questioned the guys poor taste in music if this had been any other situation, but Eren didn't want to risk the guy being some kind of psycho who started shit with him just because Eren thought his choice of song was fucking lame as all hell. No, thank you.

Once the blond was gone, Eren exhaled heavily and slumped against the counter reaching into his back jean pocket for his phone. He swiped his thumb across the lock screen and immediately started texting his co-worker Annie, who he knew was probably still awake at this late hour. 

**Eren:** _Just had the weirdest guy come in and buy a fucking CD from like the 80's or something_

He set his phone down on the counter top and waited for Annie to reply. She took a couple of minute but finally his phone screen lit up. 

**Annie:** _Which CD was it?_

Snorting to himself, Eren decided to just link her the fucking song the guy had chosen. Finding the song on youtube with ease, Eren couldn't help but smile when he heard the opening lyrics and recalled how the man had sung the lyrics to himself so quietly. He sent the link to Annie in a text and then waited patiently while distracting himself with the Greatest Vines of 2016. 

**Annie:** _... Are you fucking for real?_  
**Annie:** _Did he buy anything else or?_

 **Eren:** _Nope. Just the CD. Fucking weird right? Guy looked like he had just come from running a freakin marathon when he came in too._

Teal eyes glanced up to check the time on the clock and Eren frowned. It was barely going to be 3 am. He had another two hours and forty-five minutes to go before his shift was over and he could go home and sleep for the next six hours.

Annie stopped replying after awhile and Eren figured she was probably busy playing Dragon Age or Mass Effect. Yeah, that sounded like something Annie would do at almost 3 am. Sighing, Eren decided he'd better finish doing inventory while he had the chance.

\- X - 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, chapters for this might be pretty short. Depends on the situations. For the most part this all just indulgent fluff and slight crack because this month's SnK chapter fucking broke me and I need dorky, awkward Erwin in my life right now. 
> 
> Also, saying this now before shit happens. 
> 
>  
> 
> **If you don't like this pairing, why are you here reading this? Please don't leave pointless comments about how you hate this pairing and you think Erwin is gross or old or whatever. Don't like it? Don't read it. It's pretty simple. I won't address this matter again and won't hesitate to delete any hate comments because ain't nobody got time for that. Thanks in advance! ;)**


	2. The Second Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was based off another tumblr prompt that I decided to slip in here because my waifu and I thought it would be fucking hilarious if this happened to Erwin. 
> 
> Tumblr prompt: _I was minding my own business sitting by the window watching the snowfall WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL. ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW!?_
> 
> Of course, I added my own special twist here to fit the situation.

Three nights later found Eren sitting on the fire escape outside his bedroom window with a half smoked cigarette hanging from his right hand. It figured that on the night he didn't have to work the night shift at his job, he'd still be wide awake at 2 am. 

It was a bit muggy outside, being the middle of fucking June and all. Eren ran the hand that wasn't holding his cigarette through his hair that was starting to get on his nerves a bit. Mikasa always tried nagging him about the length of his hair, and maybe that's why he hadn't gone to get it cut yet; he was growing his hair out just to spite her for being such a mom. 

But still, despite the muggy weather outside, Eren still enjoyed star gazing. He'd moved to downtown Trost eight years ago and loved being so close to the city but sometimes living downtown wasn't the best for middle of the night star gazing. He sighed, exhaling a wisp of smoke that curled up into the humid night air and disappeared before Eren's eyes. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Eren noticed movement from the swanky apartment building across the street from his. Eren didn't exactly live in a rich or nice part of downtown Trost but it was pretty central and that meant he also happened to live just one street away from all the rich businessmen and women you saw frequent Starbucks in their perfectly pressed suits and dresses. Not that Eren had anything against successful businessmen and women; just that he'd rather not have to deal with them. 

They never failed to make him feel uncomfortable for being hardworking and barely scraping by-- for being _normal_ and _average_. 

His eyes followed the flash of movement he saw coming from someone's window on the sixth floor of the Rose Condominiums. Eren's gaze locked onto a person standing out on their balcony and he squinted to try and make out exactly what they were doing through the darkness. The streetlights weren't helping him at all and then Eren saw a glimpse of blond hair and he frowned. 

"... the fuck?" he cursed quietly. "That better not be who I think it is... is it?" now he was just muttering to himself as he continued to squint and try to make out what this asshole was doing out on his balcony and-- oh, god, now he was leaning over his own railing. "No, no, you fucker. Don't do that." 

And just as Eren said that, the blond leaned a little too far over his railing and fucking fell over, barely catching himself on the railing and holding on for dear life. 

"Fuck..." Eren hissed as he shot up from his spot curled up on the fire escape. "Fuck! What the fuck do I-- wait, no, I should call the fucking police or the fire department or-- FUCK, DAMMIT, SHIT! YOU FUCKING DICK, HOLD ON!" 

The brunet didn't really care that it was 2 am and he'd just shouted at the top of his lungs to some guy dangling from his balcony a whole street away and he probably just woke up all his neighbors. Not really thinking too much about it, Eren started climbing down the fire escape and jumping steps on the old, rickety stairs that shook the entire frame and made him wobble a few times but he was letting out a string of curses as he all but jumped off his fire escape to start sprinting across the street. 

His heart was hammering in his chest as he ran to the curbside and started fumbling with his phone to dial 911. His hands were fucking trembling, not from fear but from pure adrenaline as he bolted across the street and nearly got clipped by a red pick up. The driver honked his horn angrily at him but Eren only scowled and flipped him the bird as he continued to sprint across the street. 

Reaching the other curbside safely, Eren glanced up and frantically searched from the dangling man. He was slightly relieved to see that the guy had at least managed to secure both of his fucking hands on the railing and was attempting to pull himself up but then his grip slipped and he almost fell. 

"Shit!" Eren cursed once more, forgetting about his phone and bolting to the entrance of the fancy condominiums. 

He was suddenly stopped by a burly doorman who frowned at him and then shoved him back out to the sidewalk so harshly Eren almost tripped backwards and fell flat on his ass. 

"Whoa, where do you think you're going? I've never seen you here before." 

"There's a fucking guy hanging from a balcony, Fuckface! LET ME THROUGH!" the brunet growled, all but baring his teeth at the doorman who narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Eren's outburst. "LOOK FOR YOURSELF!!" 

Eren went back to the curbside with the doorman following after him still looking highly skeptical. When Eren found the dangling blond he pointed an angry finger up and the doorman followed the digit until he managed to see what Eren was pointing at. 

"Believe me now, shit-head?!" 

"Oh, god! That's Mr. Smith's balcony!" the burly man cried, eyes wide as he looked back at Eren. 

"What floor and door number is he?" the brunet demanded. 

"Uh-- uhm, Sixth floor, Door number 13!" 

Eren didn't bother to wait for any more chit-chat, he bolted into the revolving front doors and sprinted past the front desk with a young girl who squeaked at Eren's sudden appearance. He wondered if it would be faster to take the stairs or wait for the elevator, but the decision was made for him when the doorman called after him. 

"Take the stairs up to the third floor! Then take the lift! It should already be there!" As Eren threw his body into the heavy door of the fire exit, he could hear the doorman addressing the girl at the front desk. "Petra, call the fire department and have them come as quickly as possible. Mr. Smith's fallen from his balcony and--"

The voices faded as Eren started running up the stairs, skipping steps as he went. He felt one of his calves almost cramp up but he powered through the slight discomfort and spat another string of curses under his breath until he reach the door to the third floor. He threw it open and frantically searched for the lift. Finding the shiny double doors, Eren practically slammed his body into the lift doors before pressing the call button. Just as the doorman downstairs had said, the lift doors opened up immediately and Eren got in jamming his index finger into the door close button until the doors finally closed and he was taken up to his selected floor. 

"If that asshole isn't already dead by the time I get up there, he fucking will be." 

Eren tapped his foot impatiently, his nerves getting the best of him now as he anxiously awaited the doors to open to his destination. When the elevator finally chimed, announcing his arrival to the 6th floor, he was squeezing himself through the doors before they were even fully opened. Scrambling to find the right direction in the corridor, Eren saw a door with the number 4 on it and sprinted toward it without much thought about anything else; he was just lucky that it was right next to the elevators. 

When he reached the door, naturally, it was locked. The brunet growled in frustration before he just started trying to batter it down by ramming his shoulder into it. The sound of the elevator chiming again drew Eren's attention and this time it was the doorman from downstairs who came running up to him with a piece of paper between his fingers. 

"Here! Here! It's the passcode for the keypad on the door!" 

Eren snatched the paper from between the man's thick fingers and started jamming his fingers into the illuminated keypad on the door. He got it wrong the first time, so with another growl of frustration, Eren had to force himself to slow down and punch in the numbers correctly this time. The keypad made an upbeat chime of sorts before the door unlocked and Eren and the doorman were yanking the door open at the same time before Eren rushed into the dark apartment first. 

"Mr. Smith! Help is on the way, sir!" the doorman yelled out. 

Both men heard the sound of harsh breathing from somewhere near the kitchen and Eren immediately ran toward the source of it. He was led to a door that was left wide open to a wide balcony and there sat Mr. Smith slumped against the railing with his hand over his heart and looking white as a ghost. 

"You..." Eren gritted out through clenched teeth. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING, HUH!?" 

The blond finally seemed to muster the strength to look up and he tiredly assessed Eren and the doorman before he rolled his head back onto his shoulders and closed his too blue eyes. 

"Christmas lights..." Mr. Smith panted. "Lost my balance... don't know what happened..." he wheezed. 

Eren saw red at his words. 

"Fucking excuse me...?" the brunet took a threatening step toward the slumped figure. "You almost got yourself turned into a fucking sidewalk pancake... while putting up _CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AT 2 AM IN THE MORNING!?_ " 

Mr. Smith seemed to sense the rage that was rolling off of Eren in waves and he at least had the decency to look embarrassed and slightly terrified of the intimidating brunet who was slowly inching his way closer to the vulnerable blond. 

"You... FUCKING ASSHOLE!! I SHOULD THROW YOU OVER THAT BALCONY MYSELF FOR SCARING EVERYONE HALF TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR DUMB ASS! WHO THE FUCK PUTS UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS IN JUNE AT 2 O' CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING!?" 

From behind him, Eren heard the static noise of a walky-talky and then the doorman's exasperated voice. 

"Petra, false alarm. Call the fire department back and tell them the situation is under control. No need to cause panic now that Mr. Smith is safe." 

"Oh, thank goodness." a sweet feminine voice expressed over the device. 

"Fuck this!" Eren huffed, throwing his hands in the air and turning around abruptly. "I'm leaving before I murder him myself." 

"W-Wait!" The doorman called after him as Eren stomped his way out of the fancy condo. "At least let us thank you for coming to warn us about Mr. Smith!" 

"No, thanks!" the brunet growled back, hands balled into tight fists at his sides. "I've had enough idiocy for one night. Just make sure he doesn't fucking try decorating his balcony in the middle of the night again because I am _NOT_ coming to save his ass again!" 

Eren took the lift this time, his body trembling with barely contained anger as he got into the lift and jammed his finger into the button for the lobby so hard he worried he might have broken it. The whole ride down, Eren stewed in his own anger with his bare arms wrapped around himself while he muttered more curses under his breath. He felt a little guilty startling the petite red-head behind the front desk when he power-walked past her, but he was too angry to stop and apologize to her and to also tell her that he wasn't just some crazy madman who went around bursting through doors and cursing up a storm at 2 am.

He took his time walking back to his own shitty apartment building across the street from the Rose Condominiums and the whole walk back he pointedly didn't look back or else he knew he'd eventually crack and run back just to beat that idiot's ass. Eren knew the guy was a fucking weirdo because of the whole CD thing at work the other night, but this just topped the fucking crazy cake.

Eren hoped with all his might that he would never have to see that blond idiot again for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Erwin. He just can't catch a break. 
> 
> You'll learn why our dear Danchou is acting so crazy and weird soon enough. For now, enjoy Erwin being a complete FREAK!
> 
> BTW, you can follow me on tumblr for fic updates~ **sailorheichou.tumblr.com (´ε｀*)**


	3. The Extortionist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We meet Hanji and get to understand some of the reasons for why Erwin is acting like such a freak whenever he runs into Eren. 
> 
> Poor guy. Hanji can be so evil sometimes but I love them!

"You did what!?" Hanji squawked. 

"It's not funny, Hanji!" Erwin drew out with a whine. He had his head in his hands and was shaking it from side to side, no doubt blushing furiously, but of course, not allowing anyone to see; even his own best friend. "I think he definitely hates me, now! I can never show my face in that CVS ever again." 

The brunette sitting across from him was still cackling nonstop at her poor friend's expense, not caring that she was drawing plenty of attention from the waiting staff at the little Cafe she and Erwin were currently having lunch at. 

"Wait, wait, so you're telling me this kid from the CVS near your place actually saw the whole thing? Saw you trying to hang the lights I asked you to hang and saw you fall over your balcony and almost die? Oh, man, that's just too good!" Hanji started snorting and laughing all over again and Erwin scowled up at her through his parted fingers. 

"I really hate you, right now." he groaned. "Haven't you embarrassed me enough the last few days? When is this ridiculous sadistic game of yours going to end?" 

"When I say it ends, boy scout!" Hanji smirked, wiping away a tear from her eye. "Don't forget, if you don't do what I ask you to do, I'm going to blab about the catering thing and your perfect image will be shattered!" 

"You're so evil." Erwin grumbled. "Fine! What else do I have to do?" 

"Well," the brunette sang, lifting up her glass of iced water to sip from it as she pretended to think on that question for a moment or two. "You still need to finish getting all the stuff for my party. We're going to need... silly string!" 

"Silly string?" the blond asked with a scrunch of his nose. "Where the hell am I supposed to get silly string at?" 

"Duh!" Hanji rolled her brown eyes. "At CVS, obviously." 

At the mention of CVS, Erwin's blue eyes went wide and Hanji could see the horror in his eyes. She almost giggled with glee when she noticed that Erwin had caught on to her little plot, now. 

"No," Erwin said under his breath. "No! Absolutely not! I refuse to embarrass myself further in front of him!" 

"Aw, come on, boy scout!" the woman coaxed with a large maniacal grin. 

"NO!" 

"Fine," Hanji huffed, sitting back in her seat and crossing her arms across her chest while pouting. "I guess I'll just tell everyone at the office about how you lied to the other Partners at the firm when you held that fancy dinner party at your place last week and said you cooked everything yourself and _slaved_ away all day over a hot stove when you really just had Nanaba's restaurant cater the whole entire thing!" 

"Shh, shh! Fine, fine, okay! I'll go to CVS and get your damn silly string!" Erwin hushed her frantically, which earned them both a few odd looks from other patrons in the cafe. 

Flashing a smug, self-satisfied smile, Hanji reached across the table and patted one of Erwin's hands. "That's a good boy scout! I knew you wouldn't do anything to risk shattering your perfect image with everyone we work with." 

"Evil." Erwin muttered with a frown. 

"Did you say something?" Hanji asked in a much-too-sweet tone of voice making Erwin cringe. 

The blond cleared his throat, "Ahem, nothing. You must be hearing things. Let's hurry up and order, shall we?"

\- X -

Eren was exhausted from his workout with Mikasa. As soon as he'd gotten home from the gym, he'd kicked off his shoes, shed all his sweaty clothes and crawled his way to his bathroom for a quick rinse off before he flopped down on his bed with nothing but a towel on and his hair and body still damp. 

"Uuuuugh," he drew out a long groan before flopping onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. His entire body ached and he felt like he could just sleep for the next twenty-four hours. 

Spending some time with Mikasa was nice, especially since they hardly ever got to do that kind of thing anymore. She was busy doing her Kendo or Judo or whatever-o and Eren was always working these days just to save enough money to fix up his busted up car. Still, his body hurt just a little too much for such a familiar workout. Maybe he should start working out more often, because he was starting to feel like he was losing his edge. Too much time standing behind cash registers and not enough time keeping himself fit. 

Eren heard his phone chime and alert him to a new snapchat and he tiredly rolled over until his hand slammed against the top of the tiny night stand next to his bed. He grabbed his phone, swiped his thumb across the lock screen and selected the snapchat notification from none other than Annie. He tapped on the little red square that notified him she sent him a snap of something and furrowed his eyebrows at the picture and the caption she'd sent with it.

> _" Some weird guy came in here and bought nothing but silly string" _

In the snap Annie had taken, it was of a very confused Sasha ringing up a stupidly familiar blond who looked flustered while paying for at least twenty cans of silly string. Eren was torn between laughing or throwing his phone at the infuriating sight of that idiot who almost got himself killed hanging up Christmas lights the other night.

Eren tapped on Annie's snapchat name and started tapping at his keyboard furiously. 

**Me:** _That's the fucking weirdo that came in and bought that stupid ass CD!_

He got the notification that Annie was typing back and then the little chime alerting him to a new chat and Eren was all too quick to open it and read it. 

**Annie:** _Seriously? I expected him to look kinda like a crazy homeless guy or something but he looks pretty normal_  
_Annie is typing..._  
**Annie:** _I mean, aside from the cans of Silly string, obviously._

Rolling his eyes, Eren closed out snapchat and locked his screen tossing his phone carelessly on his bed before he dragged his tired ass to his close to at least throw on some clothes so he didn't fall asleep wet and naked. As he rummaged through his closet, Eren recalled the ridiculous events of the night he almost witnessed that blond idiot get himself killed. The brunet growled out in frustration before he grabbed the first shirt he saw, which was a very old and worn Metallica t-shirt, and shoved it on over his head. Then he snatched up a comfy and loose pair of lounge pants and dropped the towel wrapped around his waist so he could put on the pants. Underwear be damned. Eren was too tired to even worry about that right now. 

When he returned to his bed, Eren's phone chimed and alerted him to a new text message and he groaned. He debated ignoring it, but, something niggled at him in the back of his head that he should probably read it just in case. Caving, Eren flopped down stomach first on his bed that was slightly damp from when he lay there moments earlier fresh out of the shower and he unlocked his phone. 

**Annie:** _That weird blond guy asked for you. By name._

"Fuck." Eren cursed quietly. He quickly started typing out a reply to Annie.

 **Eren:** _Tell Sasha to tell him I was fired or I quit or some shit_

Annie was a little too quick to respond to his text. 

**Annie:** _Too late. She told him you don't work during the day._  
**Annie:** _Now he knows your schedule._

"FUCK!" The brunet had to stop himself from actually throwing his phone across his bedroom at a wall, because as satisfying as hell as it would be to hear and see it shatter and break, Eren could not afford to buy a new fucking phone right now. 

Instead, Eren put his phone back down on his night stand and grabbed a pillow from his bed before viciously punching it and throwing it at the wall opposite his bed. It wasn't as satisfying to see or hear when the soft cushion flopped against the drywall but it would have to be enough, for now. 

If Eren saw that idiot again tonight at work, he wouldn't hesitate to give him a piece of his mind. Job be damned, if the guy was specifically looking for him, Eren had no reason not to lie and say that he was being harassed and therefore was just trying to defend himself. Yeah, he thought his manager Shadis would definitely buy that story if Eren played his cards right. Keith didn't have any reason not to believe Eren who was honestly one of the hardest workers he had. At least Eren didn't snack while on the job like Sasha, or fuck up inventory all the time like Connie. 

With a sigh, Eren slumped into bed determined not to leave it again unless it was too piss or until it was time for him to get the fuck up for his shift.

\- X -

"Hanji, I really don't want to go back there." Erwin almost whined into his bluetooth mic. 

Pacing back and forth in the parking lot of his local CVS, the blond felt so under-dressed wearing nothing but the old t-shirt he had fallen asleep with and another pair of sweats. It was 1:38 am and Hanji had called him in the middle of dozing off in front of his desktop computer trying to get a little bit of work done. 

_"Nope! You march back in that store and buy me my As-Seen-On-TV- Eggtastic Egg Peeler!"_

"Hanji." the blond growled, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Why do you even _need_ an egg peeler for a party!?" 

_"I don't have to give you a reason, Erwin J. Smith! Just get me my damn egg peeler or I'll spill the beans about the catering!"_

"Damn it," Erwin sighed. "Fine! Fine! I'm going, but I want you to know that as soon as I get the chance, I'm getting you back for all of this."

_"Yeah, yeah, sure you will, boy scout. Now, go woo the kid with your thick, manly eyebrows! AND DON'T HANG UP! I wanna hear everything!"_

Saying nothing else, Erwin inhaled deeply to calm his nerves before he walked through those familiar automatic doors of CVS. As he approached the illuminated entrance, Erwin could see a flash of dark chestnut hair and his heart skipped a beat. Eren-- he'd remembered the cashier's name because of how unusual it was-- was helping a young woman who looked like she was attempting to flirt with him over the counter. 

She was cute and petite with long rust-brown hair that draped over her bare shoulders. Erwin almost envied the girl as she tried using her exposing attire to her advantage by leaning over the counter and revealing her ample cleavage thanks to the pink spaghetti strap tank top she was wearing. As the automatic doors hissed open with Erwin walking through them, the blond noticed the way Eren was smiling politely while ringing up the last of the girl's items. 

"Hi, Welcome to--" Eren's smile dropped immediately when he recognized Erwin and the man almost winced at the glare he received in return. "Welcome to CVS." the brunet finished venomously. 

Ducking his head, Erwin made his way to the section where he knew all the As-Seen-On-Tv junk was and dared not glance up Eren's way as he looked around for Hanji's damn egg peeler. 

_"Ooh, how did he react to seeing you?"_ Hanji's voice crackled through Erwin's bluetooth earbuds, making him frown as though the brunette was actually there with him.

"How do you think?" Erwin muttered quietly. "He looked like someone spat in his salad as soon as he saw me walk in."

_"Ah, don't worry about it. I'm sure the kid just wants to chew you out for being an idiot and almost dying."_

"Ew, Hanji." the blond grimaced at her words. "Don't call him a kid. You make me feel like some kind of... pervert." 

Erwin could hear the same easygoing chatter from the front where Eren and the girl were obviously still chatting, but the blond didn't have the luxury to try to listen in on what they were saying thanks to Hanji distracting him and because he was having just a little bit of trouble finding her god damned egg peeler. 

_"Well, how do you know he's not some eighteen-year-old fetus? You said so yourself, he looks really young."_

"Still..." Erwin trailed off, furrowing his thick eyebrows when he saw a glimpse of white and yellow peeking out from underneath six boxes of half-opened Shake-Weights and then he smiled to himself in triumph. "Ha! Found you, you little trouble maker!" 

_"What? You find my egg peeler yet?"_

"Yes, and I'll have you know that it's the very last one, so you'd better not make me embarrass myself in front of Eren anymore, got it?" he warned her. 

_"Ugh, fine, whatever! I just want my egg peeler!"_

Chancing a glance up toward the register, Erwin caught sight of Eren glaring at him from behind the counter seeming to wait a little impatiently for Erwin to come up and pay for whatever he was buying now, the petite girl from earlier now gone. The blond swallowed thickly and shrunk into himself just a little.

"Yep, definitely hates my guts." he groaned into the mic of his bluetooth.

 _"You better not tell him about me..."_ Hanji said, suddenly sounding somber. "Remember what's on the line here, Smith."

"I know, dammit!" Erwin said just a little too loudly. Blue eyes went wide when he realized that Eren had clearly heard him, scoffed and rolled his eyes. Great. Now he probably thought Erwin was crazy as well as an idiot. 

_"Easy, there, Boy scout. How about we just get through paying before you pop a blood vessel, hm?"_

"Yeah," the man sighed heavily, shoulders sagging as he grabbed his Eggtastic Egg Peeler and started reluctantly making his way toward the front counter. "Yeah, let's do that."

The whole walk to the register, Erwin and Eren held eye contact and the blond couldn't help but admire the strange color of Eren's eyes. Man, could the kid be any prettier? No-- nope, damn it, don't call him a kid. There was nothing wrong with admiring a specific facial feature. Erwin refused to feel like he was some dirty old man leering at a child. He was only Thirty-two, dammit! 

"Ahem," Erwin cleared his throat awkwardly upon arriving at the register. "Hi." Oh, if only Erwin could smack himself for that lame greeting. 

_"Hi? Really? Smooth, Smith."_

Heavens above, give him the strength not to lose his temper in front of this gorgeous young man who already hated him enough as it was. 

Eren stared at him, _hard_ , for a few seconds before his gaze shifted down to the box in Erwin's arms. One dark brow lifted in silent question to the blond's odd purchase and then Eren was sighing loudly through his nose. Feeling a strange wave of relief hit him, Erwin flashed him a strained smile and set his-- _Hanji's_ egg peeler down on the counter and Eren immediately picked it up to scan the bar code on the bottom. 

"You know," Eren said suddenly, slightly startling Erwin who hadn't expected the brunet to be the first one to initiate conversation. "This has really crappy reviews all over the internet. Like, really crappy reviews." 

"R-Really?" the blond asked, voice a bit high and squeaky. "That's, um, disappointing?" 

_"WHAT!?"_ Hanji squawked through Erwin's earbuds, making the blond wince and yank them out of his ears before she busted his ear drums.

"I mean, I don't really care if you waste your damn money on this piece of crap or not. I just thought you should know." Eren finished scanning the egg peeler and went about the usual procedure with an indifferent expression. "Do you have your CVS card with you?" 

Wordlessly, Erwin fumbled around in the pockets of his sweats for his car keys before he found them and smiled in relief as he pulled them out. That same smile of relief stayed on his face as he held the little red card that hung from the ring of his keys and let Eren scan the code on the back. The brunet eyed him curiously but said nothing as he finished ringing Erwin's purchase up. 

"To be honest, it's for a friend." Erwin said, watching the automatic and rather robotic movements of Eren's hands as he pulled out a plastic red and white CVS bag and placed the box inside. "Um, I'm Erwin Smith, by the way."

"I know what your name is." Eren fired back without any hesitation and without so much as an interested glance at the blond who deflated a bit. "That'll be $22.50."

"H-How--?" Erwin floundered as he dumbly reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet.

The brunet pointed to the illuminated screen over the register and Erwin followed the slender digit before he realized that his full name showed up when Eren scanned his CVS card. It was there in medium, black font; Erwin Johnathan Smith. 

"Oh..." 

"Yeah." the brunet flashed a smirk before it disappeared behind a mask of cool indifference. 

Now, they were just waiting for Erwin's receipt and Eren waited impatiently for the mile-long strip of paper to finish printing. There was a tense silence between the two men, but that was soon abruptly broken when a song came blasting from Erwin's cell phone also in his pocket and startled not only just Eren but Erwin as well.

_" ♪ 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real shady, all you other slim shady's are just imitating, so won't the real slim shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up ♪" _

and Erwin wanted to curl up and die because, holy hell, Hanji had to be behind this; she just had to be. He hadn't even noticed when she'd hung up since he'd removed his earbuds from his ears and therefore, couldn't hear anything she said or did. Not even when his bluetooth headphones alerted him that the call had ended. Erwin had reached into his pocket and fumbled with his phone to try and silence the ringer and he was silently cursing under his breath, but then something had him stopping.

It was the sound of Eren's unrestrained laughter as the brunet doubled over and was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes and struggled for breath. Suddenly, the embarrassing situation that made Erwin want to die turned into a moment Erwin was glad had happened because he got to see Eren smile and see him laugh. Even if it was at his own expense. 

"Oh, my fucking god." Eren wheezed. "Are you shitting me right now? Is that seriously your ringtone?" 

Erwin chuckled a bit himself, "To be honest, I didn't even know it was until just now." 

The brunet seemed to be slowly coming down from his momentary fit of laughter and he wiped away tears while getting out a few last giggles. Eren was still beaming and that in turn had Erwin smiling almost as widely. 

"What is with you and your weird taste in music?" the younger man asked, sighing and slumping against the counter; that smile a little less wide but still there. 

This time, Erwin flushed just a bit at that question. 

"It's really not what you think, honest." the blond mumbled, sheepishly scratching at the stubble on his cheek. 

Eren smirked while cocking a brow at him and Erwin awkwardly shifted his weight from foot to foot, not knowing how to feel about Eren looking at him with anything but a glare or a glower. 

"You know, I was going to give you a piece of my mind for what happened the other night, but now the mood's kind of been ruined."

"Well, that's a good thing, then, isn't it?" Erwin asked, sounding just a bit hopeful that maybe Eren wouldn't hate him anymore. 

The brunet shook his head with a smile, "You're a weird guy, Smith." 

"I swear, I'm not." the blond grimaced. "It's just been a really, really strange week for me." 

"No shit." Eren snorted. 

They fell into a companionable silence after that, while Eren went about getting Erwin his change and snatching up his receipt. Handing Erwin back his change and the receipt, their hands made contact briefly and Erwin swallowed. He decided he should probably try and be bold now that he had Eren in a better mood and he would ask Eren's age, because he seriously needed to know. 

"Um," Erwin started, immediately unsure of himself for a split second before he remembered-- he's Erwin Johnathan Smith; smart, successful, distinguished Attorney. Talking to Eren wasn't some kind of science. He would talk to him with all the confidence he held in front of a full court room. "I couldn't help but wonder how old you are." 

At Eren's rather annoyed expression, Erwin's confidence plummeted and he immediately started trying to make a quick save. 

"N-Not trying to be creepy or anything! I'm just genuinely curious because you look so young." 

"Old enough," Eren answered vaguely, glare boring into Erwin's flushed face before he finally cracked a smile and laughed. "Chill out, okay? I'm twenty-six. More than old enough to be working and supporting myself." 

The wave of utter relief that hit Erwin at hearing that Eren was definitely _not_ some 'eighteen-year-old fetus', as Hanji had so eloquently put it, the blond found himself returning Eren's playful grin. 

"Well, I was right about you being younger than me." Erwin chuckled. 

"Alright, fair is fair, Smith. How old are _you_? I can make a guess. Forty? Forty-five?" At Erwin's affronted expression at Eren's guesstimate of his age, the brunet threw his head back in a bark of laughter. "I'm just messing with you. Come on, seriously, how old?" 

Erwin refused to admit that he was pouting, "I'm thirty-two." 

Eren's dark eyebrows raised up in slight surprise, "Okay, that's younger than I thought. I was thinking Thirty-five at the youngest."

"I'm offended." the blond feigned mock hurt. 

"Can't really say I'm sorry," Eren shrugged. 

Sighing, Erwin grabbed his purchase and pretended to still be wounded by Eren's words, keeping his eyes downcast and his expression slightly crestfallen. He knew Eren was probably watching him with curious eyes. 

"Well, have a good night, Eren. I'll just go home and dust off my old phonograph and maybe lose myself in the nostalgia of my glory days passed." Finally, Erwin threw back a pitifully sad look back at the brunet who rolled his eyes. 

"Try not to fall over any balcony railings while doing that, old man." 

At his words Erwin sighed in frustration this time and half turned to give Eren a truly contrite look. 

"I really am sorry about that, you know." 

"Yeah, yeah, have a good night, sir." 

At Eren's dismissive flap of his hand, Erwin snorted to himself softly and walked out into the humid night air. It smacked him in the face and sort of sobered him up from the good mood he'd set with Eren inside the pharmacy but Erwin couldn't bring himself to feel down about what had just happened. 

He'd talked to Eren-- actually _talked_ with him, and even got to know him a little. He was still a little pissed about the fact that Hanji had been messing with his ringtones again, but the blond couldn't even bring himself to feel upset about that. He was much too pleased with how much progress he'd just made with Eren and he was now looking forward to Hanji's next ridiculous request. 

Now that he managed to patch things up with the brunet, Erwin was determined to redeem himself and prove to Eren that he wasn't this spastic weirdo who went around buying the weirdest things from CVS stores at ungodly hours. That was strictly Hanji's jurisdiction. 

Erwin J. Smith got into his car with a lighthearted feeling in his chest and a smile on his face. For the moment, life was pretty good.


End file.
